#36: The 7 D’s: The Secret Distractions That Quietly Detour Your Dreams

Feeling stuck, scattered, or creatively off track? In this episode, I’m sharing the 7 D’s of distraction—seven sneaky ways we lose focus on our dreams without even realizing it. Distractions aren’t always loud. Sometimes they show up as quiet whispers, gently pulling us away from what matters most. 

Using a simple self-rating tool, I’ll help you gently name what’s really pulling your attention away. Because when you can name it, you can change it. 

You’ll leave with more clarity, to help you refocus your energy and get back to what truly matters. Grab your favorite beverage, a pen and notebook—this one’s part reflection, part mini-workshop, and all encouragement for you and your dreams.

HERE ARE 3 KEY TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS EPISODE

1️⃣ Awareness is the antidote to autopilot.

Noticing what’s really pulling your attention is the first step to reclaiming your energy and focus. You can’t shift what you haven’t named.

2️⃣ Not all distractions are digital.

Sometimes it’s self-doubt, emotional noise, or even too many dreams at once that keep you stuck. The sneaky ones are the hardest to catch—but the most powerful to shift.

3️⃣ Simply pause.

Stopping to ask, “What’s going on here?” can be the tiny reset that realigns you with your dreams. Clarity begins with curiosity, not control.

Check out all my coaching and course offerings - Coachcarlene.com

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Transcript

Speaker 3: 0:01

You're never too busy, too tired, too old, or too anything to pursue your dreams. Welcome to the Distracted Dreamer Podcast, where you'll learn how to move all those never ending distractions aside and chase your dreams with confidence.

Carlene: 0:22

Well, hello. Hello my friend. Welcome back to the Distracted Dreamer podcast. I'm your friend and host Carlene, and today we're talking about, uh, you guessed at distractions, specifically the kind that sneak in when you're trying to do something brave or something creative or something just for you. So I've come up with seven types of distractions that we have actually already talked about in previous episodes, but with a different twist. And just for fun, today we're framing today's distractions with the letter D. Why? Well, because alliteration, it's fun and also because it turns out a surprising number of our distractions really do start with the letter D. But before we dive into the list. I want to say this, awareness is everything, and sometimes the most powerful thing that we can do is to just stop mid scroll, mid spiral, mid sigh, and ask, what's really going on here? What's truly pulling my attention away? Because distractions, they're not always obvious and they're rarely just about what's on the surface. So much of what pulls us off course, it isn't the distraction itself. It's the fact that we don't stop to question the distraction. We kind of follow the tug without asking why and awareness. It invites us to look under the hood and name what's happening. And when we name it, we take the first step toward choosing instead of defaulting to reacting, and we return to being intentional. So I just want you to know this is not about fixing or forcing anything. This episode is about you gently checking in with yourself and making some space to respond from a place of clarity and kindness. So first, I want you to notice without judgment, because that is the first step to getting clear and to ultimately regain your creativity because that's really what your dreams deserve. So think about this episode kind of as a mini workshop where you're gonna uncover your biggest distractions. Here's how this is gonna work. So get out a pen and paper, and for each distraction that we talk about, write down what the distraction is, and then what you're gonna do is you're going to rate how big of an impact that distraction has on you and your dreams right now. We're gonna keep this super simple. We're gonna use a scale from one to five. You're gonna rate it a number one, if the distraction has little or no impact on you and your dreams or. It could be a five, meaning it is a huge distraction to you. So based on your assessment, you'll start to see which distractions need a little more attention, and where you can begin to gently refocus your energy again. And the best part of this is you can do a deep dive on each of these seven distractions by listening to a prior episode of the Distracted Dreamer that I will guide you to. So with this new awareness of how the distraction is impacting you, I promise you'll hear something very different after getting this clarity today. So are you ready? We're gonna take a little tour through what I'm calling the seventies of distraction, and you might recognize a few of these in your own life and maybe you might be dancing with all seven, whatever it is, just be honest with yourself and we will go from there All. The first distraction, you guessed it, are devices, right? All the buzzing, the pinging, the endless scrolling devices are our ever present companions. They're the tools that we love, but they're the tools that sometimes run the show. And let me, let me just ask you this. Does this ever happen to you? You pick up your phone to check the weather before heading out for a walk, and then a notification pops up and you're down the rabbit hole of emails or placing that Amazon order or answering a text. I have to tell you, this happens to me all the time. I struggle to even remember why I picked up my phone in the first place, because it's literally 30 minutes later after saving a reel about organizing my pantry, which, let's be honest, I was never going to do that. Oh, and then I forwarded my daughter three reels on how amazing it is to be a grandma. And I had forgotten about the weather entirely. Our phones don't just distract us when we're on them. It impacts our motivation and energy for the rest of the day. So tell me, take a minute here and just think about this. On a scale from one to five, one being, no, this is not a problem for me at all, to five is like, oh my gosh, this happens to me constantly. I know this is getting in my way. I. So on a scale of one to five, how much are your devices distracting you from your dreams right now? Just take a minute. You probably knew that right away. I, I have a feeling a lot of us are at like four or five with that. And what most of us don't realize is that if you kick the habit of getting sucked into everything on your phone first thing in the morning, there are some real long-term benefits to it. First, it improves your attention and concentration. And the ability to tackle all the challenging tasks with much greater ease throughout your day. The second thing is it increases your motivation. When you don't get on that phone first thing in the morning, you will maintain higher levels of motivation throughout the day, which obviously leads to better productivity and you accomplishing what you set out to do. So if this device distraction really resonates with you, go listen to episode 24. It's called Own Your Day part one for Morning Habits that boost energy, focus, and motivation, where I dive into the science explaining how our brains are altered and not for the good when we start our day on our phones. There are also some great tips in that episode on how to manage this distraction for yourself. So go check it out. And, you know, you can always try out the more obvious hacks like setting some sacred dream time, like a short window with your device on do not disturb, and see what ideas surface when your mind has some room to wander. Another tool is you can use the app blockers or gray scale mode to give yourself some focus time. You could also consider designating one tech-free zone in your home, meaning that when you're in this room, there are no phones, no devices, but I think you'll get the biggest bang for your buck by going back to episode 24. Because when you understand what is happening to your brain, it is gonna change your motivation to change that distraction. Okay, distraction number two. Is doubt right? This one just lives in the mind. All these wonderful thoughts that we have. It's that voice that whispers, who are you to try this or, I'm not good enough, or just, heck, I'm not enough. And that doubt it masquerades as it's like reason or something, as it's like it's protecting us. But really it's just fear. And I had a client one time and she was on the Verge. She was always on the verge of launching her coaching website, but she kept tweaking the layout and her about page and all the stuff. And when we really talked about it, she admitted she was afraid that she would be bombarded with clients and she doubted that she could handle the success. So doubt had convinced her. That the delay was about design, but really it was about a fear of being seen. Another example would be when I started this podcast, I doubted anyone would listen or I feared if they did, they would hate it, and I just didn't wanna disappoint people. So on a scale from one to five, again, how much is doubt getting in your way right now? How much do you doubt yourself when it comes to your dreams? Remember a number one is, uh, not at all, doubt is not in my life. And a number five is like, Ooh, yeah, this is a big part of, uh, how I'm thinking about things. Okay, let's take a quick second and just talk about what self-doubt really is. Well, first, let's clear up what it is. Not. Self-doubt is not a feeling. Fear and uncertainty are feelings. Doubting yourself is what you do when you feel fear or you feel unworthy, or you feel uncertain. So you see, self-doubt is a habit. It's an actual action. I. It's an action in self-doubt. It keeps you very busy up in your head. You're very busy creating worst case scenarios. You're busy overthinking. You're busy coming up with all the things that you think you need to do before you can do the thing that you know you want to or should do. And by reframing that self-doubt as a habit or an action or a choice, guess what? You can stop it. You can replace the habit of self-doubt with another action. So if doubting yourself is distracting you, go check out episode 18. The habit of self-Doubt. Why you keep second guessing yourself and you'll learn about the three different self-doubt mind traps. And you'll be able to identify which mind trap you're stuck in and how to get out of it. I've even gone as far as to create a quiz for you to help you identify what your go-to self-doubt mind trap is, or in other words, what are your go-to behaviors that have become habits when you doubt yourself. For all of you doubters out there, go check out episode 18. Moving on to number three and number three. This might not be the best word for this, but it was a D Um, so this is what I came up with. I'm calling it drama. Because sometimes it's not our own drama or our own storm that we're caught in. It's somebody else's, you know, the emotional whirlwinds or relationship tension or just being highly sensitive to the energy around us. I know I am a highly sensitive person. Anybody else out there in HSPI got you. And I can tell you I once found myself unable to write for days because. I got caught up in a friend's conflict. I wasn't part of the conflict, but I was her confidant in it. And I had gotten pulled into this vortex of texts and late night calls, and I really, really wanted to help. But I let the chaos of that situation, it kind of just like cancel on my creative energy entirely. So tell me on a scale from one to five. How much is other people's drama or the emotional noise affecting your creative energy? How much is it distracting you on a scale to one to five, five? It's like, wow, this is a big deal in my life. I need to get a handle on this. Or number one, Nope, this doesn't show up at all. Now there are a couple tools that I just wanna give you, in addition to the episode that I'm gonna share with you. But if you are feeling this in your life, I want you to remember that you can always pause and you can ask yourself this question. And I ask myself this question all the time. And that question is, is this mine to carry? Because it can be challenging to let go, especially if you're an empath. I'm an empath, and you naturally feel other people's pain. You have to make sure that you're not carrying other people's pain and suffering to the point where it's impacting. You living your life. So protecting your dream, sometimes it means kinda having to gently step out of that noise. Another thing that you can do is you can try and set some energy boundaries, and maybe that means you're muting a chat thread or you're setting a time limit on the emotional check-ins, or when you're just checking in on other people, or answering when they're pinging you. But the bigger question here is, is think about this, like, what if you could toss out everything that's draining you? What if you could create space for all the things that that bring you energy, clarity, and focus? What if you could set those boundaries? Well, if you're ready to make space for what really matters to you and to silence the drama, I think you would really enjoy episode 13, letting Go and Leaning in Brain Friendly Habits for 2025. I can tell you I did this episode and it really helped me focus on what I wanted for myself. This year we're halfway through the year. If you didn't get to listen to this episode at the beginning of the year, this is a great time to go revisit that and get yourself reset. Okay? The fourth type of distraction. Is deadlines, you know, the administration of life, all your work tasks, all the family to-dos, they all come with clocks ticking loudly in the background. Right? And when you're on a deadline, your dream project, it feels like an indulgence. And I remember being a young mom and telling myself when things slow down, yep, when the girls are away at college someday, I'll start that podcast. Someday I'll write that book. Someday I'll start playing piano again. And I gotta tell you, every season of life has its own unique busyness. And I was using that busyness as an excuse to not work on my dreams. And honestly, one of the hardest things I've had to learn is to build some deadlines for dreams into my daily plans. But it makes all the difference. Do you feel like you have to wait until life slows down, until your entire to-do list is done until no one needs you anymore to work on your dreams? So on a scale from one to five again, how much do deadlines and responsibilities keep pushing your dreams to the side? On a scale of one to five? Five is like, yep. All the time. It's right here in my face. One is like, no, I got a good handle on this. Okay. A couple practical tools before I give you the episode is instead of thinking, oh, all or nothing, like, oh, I gotta like go all in on my dream. Try just taking 10 minutes with your journal to journal about your dreams, or take five minutes to sketch something or write one sentence for your novel, right? Our dreams, they can live in the margins. It's about staying connected to them. Another practical tool is to use some time blocking to carve out a small but consistent space for your dream, even if it's just once a week. To, to journal or to strategize about something or to, to write that one sentence. But if you really wanna get a handle on this episode three, how to fit your dreams into your busy life. Stop waiting for the right time. This is your must listen episode. In the episode, we uncover the secret to fitting your dreams into your current life. Without quitting your job or neglecting your responsibilities, you'll discover how to do a time audit, how to use the 15 minute rule, and how to stack habits to make daily progress no matter how busy you are. And this episode will help you overcome the myth that your dreams have to wait because the truth is you can start today. Okay, we are on number five. The fifth kind of distraction that is out there. It's desire, and this is a sneaky one. It's about us wanting too many things at once. You know when your brain just goes. Oh my God. I have all these great ideas, the new hobbies, the new business ideas, every book on your list. You want it all right now, and it's exciting. And it's overwhelming, and this is my Achilles heel, the number of books I have that I just never get to. Why do I keep getting more? Well, because it's exciting. It's something new. And then there's stuff in my business that I'm so excited about creating, like building the Dream Studio, membership community, like updating my website with my podcast. Like running a couple workshops this summer. Then there's the vacations I wanna take and the list goes on. And wanting all these things isn't bad. It's dreaming. Dreaming is healthy for us and it's a fun place to be until the overwhelm sets in and I end up doing none of it. Can you relate to that? So on a scale from one to five, again, how overwhelmed are you by your own curiosity and all the ideas coming at you all at once and wanting it all right Now? How is desire impacting your dreams and distracting you from being able to focus on one thing? Okay. A couple comments I wanna make just before I introduce the episode that you can listen to for this one is, I want you to remember that not every idea needs to be acted on. Let's some of them stay in the dream stage, right? Curiosity is allowed to be incomplete. The other tool. I'm saying this one, like, uh, yeah, this is a great tool, but the, there's one word in here that I don't like is, someday is like you can keep a someday journal, a place to store your ideas for future you that you can revisit during your low energy times. It's just, we have to be careful not to someday ourselves to death. Someday is a good place to be when you're overwhelmed with your dreams and desires. It's not a great place to be when you're using someday as procrastination. So just a little heads up on that. But where you're really gonna make some progress is if you tune into episode two. You dreams matter, even if you don't achieve them. This is your permission. Slip to dream for dream's sake, here's a little snippet from episode two. We've all grown up believing that the ultimate goal in life is to achieve our dreams. I was always taught you must finish what you start, but here's the truth. Your dreams aren't necessarily there for you to achieve them. Sometimes they serve a different purpose. Your dreams are there to give you direction, to help you grow and to teach you about yourself. They are about the process, not the finish line. When you focus only on achieving the dream, you can easily miss the excitement and the growth that happens along the way. If all your beautiful creative ideas are overwhelming you, you must go back and listen to this episode. Okay? The sixth type of distraction that we have, it's called disorder. You know, that pile of laundry, the cluttered desk or the mental chaos. A messy space can mirror a messy mind or vice versa. Now I can't function when my desk is buried under journals, mail, post-it notes, and half finished projects. I have to clear the space to clear my head because the disorder. Or the disorganization. It's a huge distraction and I think this is one of the most common distractions we think about is our physical environment, and it really is one of the easiest ones for us to control. Like do a clean sweep and put everything on your desk in a pile outta sight and deal with it after you've had your creative work time. It really shifts everything for me. So on a scale from one to five again, how much does physical or mental clutter get in your way Creatively? How distracting is that for you right now? The disorder on a scale from one to five. Like I said, a couple tools here I already told you about, tidy one corner or just clearing some physical space. Clears the emotional space too. You could also create a dedicated creative space, even if it's like a tray or a chair or even a ritual like lighting a candle that signals that it's focus time. But if you're really ready for a deep dive, then don't miss episode 23. It is called My Easy Four Step Process to declutter your life and focus on your dreams. A spring cleaning guide to clear mental clutter, reclaim your time, and reset your goals. And in this episode, I'm walking you through the four steps that I use to clear out the noise. We're talking about clearing physical, mental, and emotional clutter. Reclaiming your time and resetting your goal so you can finally create space which truly matters to you, your dreams. Okay, we have made it to number seven. The seventh and final distraction is Drift, drift, D-R-I-F-T. And this one is subtle. It's when we lose our way, not through crisis, but through slow disconnection. We forget what we were reaching for. Sometimes we have that nagging feeling in life. Like, is this it? Is this all there is? Maybe you feel like you're on autopilot, like you drive to work, you bring your lunch, you sit in a cubicle, you chat with coworkers, you do some tasks, you go home, have dinner. And repeat. And we get so buried under the day-to-day doldrums that we're just moving mindlessly disconnected through our to-do lists. It's like we're experiencing some kind of dream amnesia. So on a scale from one to five, how much are you feeling disconnected from your original creative spark, or goal or dream? It's a big distraction. Drift is a big distraction. How is it showing up for you? On a scale one to five, okay? You can reconnect with your dreams and desires by listening to episode eight, four Signs. You could be betraying your dreams, and we talk about four signs that could be telling you that you're losing sight of your dreams. And I have felt all of these at multiple times in my life and I had no idea they were signs about my dreams. So go check that one out. Okay, so which of the seven D's or the seven distractions is getting the better of you right now? Is it devices? Is it that phone? Well schedule some time to listen to episode 24. Own your day part one For morning habits that boost energy, focus, and motivation, or. Is the distraction of doubt getting in your way? Well, you're gonna wanna dive into episode 18, the habit of self-doubt. Why you keep second guessing yourself? How about drama? Where did that show up on your scale? You might enjoy episode 13, letting go, and leaning in Brain-Friendly Habits for 2025. How about deadlines? Oh. Yep. You are gonna want to listen to episode three, how to fit your Dreams into your busy life. Stop waiting for the right time is your must Listen episode, how about desire? All those wonderful ideas you're having tune into episode two. Your dreams matter. Even if you don't achieve them, is your permission slip to dream for dream's sake. And the sixth distraction disorder. How did that show up? Well, if that's a big one for you, then you do not wanna miss episode 23, which is my easy four step process to declutter your life and focus on your dreams. A spring cleaning guide to clear mental clutter, reclaim your time, and reset your goals. And then this very subtle final. Distraction of drift. If you're ready to reconnect with your dreams and desires, listen to episode eight, four Signs. You could be betraying your dreams. Now remember, you are not wrong or broken for being distracted. You're human. It is a noisy world, my friend, and the first step is taking back your focus and your dreams. And the first step to taking back your focus in your dreams is being aware of what's pulling your attention. And I wanna know what did you uncover as your biggest distraction today? Send me a text at the link in the show notes. I want to know, I want to hear from you. So if you have a friend that you think would find this valuable, would you please share it with them? And if you've ever loved this podcast. Will you please give me a review? As you know, reviews really make a difference for podcasters and I rarely ask for them, but I'd be forever grateful if you like this podcast and you can leave a review and let me know what you think. Alright, my sweet friend Thank you so much for being here with me today. And remember your dreams. They are waiting for you and your time. It's now and I'll be back next week. Ready to welcome you to our next conversation. Oh, and one more thing. This is the legal language. You know, the stuff that the lawyers put together, and they say that I need to read this to you. So here we go. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. I'm just your friend. I'm not a licensed therapist. This podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professionals. Got it? Good. I will see you in the next episode.