#27: Dreams vs. Goals: Why You Need Both to Build the Life You Want

Today we’re talking about the real difference between dreams and goals—and why it matters more than you think.

These two words are often used interchangeably, but they are not the same thing. In this episode, we’re untangling what dreams truly are (hint: they’re more about who you want to become), what goals really mean (they’re the how), and why gaining clarity between the two can completely shift the way you move through life.

We’ll explore:
✨ What sets dreams and goals apart—and why the difference matters
✨ How some goals don't need to tie to a big dream (and that's okay!)
✨ Why every dream does need goals to come alive
✨ How even your most practical daily tasks might secretly be connected to your deepest dreams

When you understand how dreams and goals work together, you can stop spinning your wheels and overthinking and build the life you want, whatever you want that to be.

Once you have this clarity between dreams and goals, you're going to amaze yourself!

00:28 Welcome to The Distracted Dreamer Podcast

01:01 Understanding the Difference Between Dreams and Goals

02:03 Illustrating the Concept with Personal Stories

04:10 Exploring the Nature of Dreams

05:24 Characteristics of Dreams

08:49 The Role of Goals in Achieving Dreams

11:11 Connecting Dreams and Goals

11:42 Types of Goals and Their Importance

14:49 Dream Hierarchy: From Dreams to Daily Habits

16:19 The Evolution and Timing of Dreams

17:30 Practical Goals and Hidden Dreams

19:12 Conclusion and Weekly Invitation

21:04 Legal Disclaimer and Farewell

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Transcript

0:00

Dreams are the why. They're that emotion, that motivating force behind what we do. When we treat dreams like goals, we expect results way too soon. And when we treat goals like dreams, we forget to take action and nothing happens.

Speaker 3: 0:22

You're never too busy, too tired, too old, or too anything to pursue your dreams. Welcome to the Distracted Dreamer Podcast, where you'll learn how to move all those never ending distractions aside and chase your dreams with confidence.

0:43

Hello. Hello Dreamers. Welcome back to The Distracted Dreamer. And if you're new here, I wanna give you a big warm welcome to the Distracted Dreamer family. I'm your friend and host Carlene, and today we're diving into a question that sounds really simple, but it's kind of sneaky. It's actually a very deep question, and it's this, what's the difference between dreams and goals? And the reason we're talking about this is because a listener, whose name is Sue, she wrote in and she asked me, she said, what's the difference between goals and dreams? I'm good at setting goals and taking steps to achieve them, but dreams, dreams seem dreamy. Out there, like something that's unattainable. Maybe my definition of a dream is skewed. So can you relate to that? What Sue's asking? I know that I can, I have to tell you that that really resonated with me because I've felt that same tension about dreams and goals, goals and dreams. It's all the talk. And these two words are used interchangeably as if they are the same thing, but to tell you the truth, they are in fact very different, but so connected at the same time. So I have a story that may just help illustrate what I mean. I've had this feeling for several years that I wanted to create something to reach more of you to connect with you on the things in your life that matter most. To maybe guide you to whatever that life is that you've been dreaming. But it was all kind of foggy for me. And then I kept hearing from clients and family and friends, Hey, why don't you start a podcast? And I loved the idea, but it felt like a dream. It just, it felt like it was out there, and it stayed a dream until I could finally see the steps that I had to take to get it out of the dream world. And into our world. I finally saw I needed to have goals to bring this to life, like research the equipment, outline episodes, schedule recording time. I. And now I realize that my dream wasn't about having a podcast. It was about making a difference. It was about who I wanted to become my identity. I'm a podcaster now. That's what dreams are. They speak to who you want to become, and the only way I became a podcaster was to set goals to bring the dream to life. And here we are. You and I are getting together once a week to talk, and you are witnessing my dream every time that you show up. And it all started with getting my head out of the clouds and setting goals to bring it to life. Now, today we're going to explore how to untangle dreams from goals and how to connect them in a way that feels empowering. So you're gonna learn what makes a dream different from a goal. We're also gonna talk about why some goals don't need to be tied to big dreams or any dreams, and that's okay. And finally, why All dreams need goals if they're ever going to become reality. And most importantly, you're gonna learn how to start honoring both dreams and goals. Let's start by getting clear on what we actually mean when we talk about dreams and goals. Because when we understand the difference, we can use both in really powerful ways. So let's talk about dreams. Dreams are the why. Dreams are the expansive. They help shape our identity and our visions that we hold for our lives. They're less about the specific achievements and they're more about how we want to be and how we want to feel. Dreams are the why. They're that emotion, that motivating force behind what we do. Let me give you some examples of dreams. Living a creative life, that's a dream. Finding true love, right? We all have that dream making a difference. Oh my gosh, I know so many people that that's all we wanna do is we wanna make a difference. That's a dream. What about achieving financial freedom? That's a dream or raising a happy family. Now, these aren't boxes that you just check off. They're directions that you're moving towards. So let's talk about what are some characteristics of dreams Now that I've given you some examples of what dreams are. The first characteristic of dreams are they're open-ended. You don't complete a dream like being financially free. You live it. Dreams are also identity based, so they're about who do you want to become? Dreams are emotionally charged. They actually give you the energy, the purpose, and the meaning they make. You wanna get outta bed in the morning. The other thing about dreams is they are ever evolving. What do you dream to? 25? It may shift by the time you're 45, and that's very natural, very normal. And the last thing about a dream is they're partly out of your control. There are probably some elements like timing or luck. That are beyond what you can control, and that's okay. So you can dream of finding true love, but a lot of it is outta your control, right? You can't force love. It has to be given space to find you. So let's also talk about that sense of dreams, feeling unobtainable like Sue mentioned, because you're not wrong to feel that way. That's actually part of what makes a dream. A dream is it's not always meant to be achieved. At least not in the same way that a goal is. So I have another story for you. I've had a dream for probably the last decade of traveling to Italy and living there for three months to really immerse myself in the culture and live it. And this is one of those dreamy dreams. I haven't taken any steps to make this happen, but it makes me happy to picture myself going to the open market to buy all the fresh produce and have a garden right outside my villa and make my own pasta and drink wine along the cobblestone streets when I'm shopping, waking up and seeing the breathtaking landscapes Oh, the blue water. Oh, the olive trees, the history, talking with the locals and learning about their culture. I have goosebumps just talking about it too right now, but you know what? I'm not sure if I'm ready to be the person I need to be to bring this dream to life. I know it sounds silly, but I don't know if I could leave my family and my life for three months. Because when I go on vacation for five days, I'm ready to come home. I get homesick real easy no matter who I'm traveling with. So the question is, do I have to achieve this dream? Absolutely not. But it is exciting to dream and to think that maybe just maybe is a possibility that I can be that person who does this someday. For me right now, that's enough and that's the point of dreams. They make you feel good to simply dream them. If the idea that you don't actually have to achieve your dream, if that intrigues you, definitely circle back to episode two of this podcast. It's called. Your dreams matter even if you don't achieve them. In that episode, we go much deeper into how dreams serve as our guides, guides to who you want to become, to how you want to feel. Okay. We are going to talk about goals now. So if dreams are the why, goals are the how. Goals, we've heard all this before, goals are concrete, they have measurable outcomes. They're the how, the specific structured steps that move you toward something that you want, that could be your dreams. Here's some examples of some goals that you want to run a half a marathon and under two hours by June. Uh, a goal to save$15,000 by next year. Or maybe a goal to launch a website by the end of the month, or a goal to write 500 words a day for four weeks. So what are the characteristics of goals? We've all heard this. We've heard of smart goals and everything, right? So goals are measurable. You know, when you've achieved them, you know, the finish line, they're time bound, they have deadlines, and they're actionable because you can break goals into steps. The other thing is you can track your progress. You can see progress along the way, and goals are within your control. You drive the outcomes for the most part, in comparison to dreams that we talked about, that there are elements that are just not within your control, but for goals, for the most part, you drive the outcomes. Now, this is where we get confused between dreams and goals. Sometimes we say, my dream is to buy a house next year, but that's really a goal. But the dream in that scenario is in the identity of you wanting to be a homeowner. Other times we say, my goal is to be happy, but that's a dream because happiness is ongoing and emotional. It's not time bound or measurable. Why does this matter? It matters because when we treat dreams like goals, we expect results way too soon. And when we treat goals like dreams, we forget to take action and nothing happens. So getting clarity here between dreams and goals isn't just semantic, it's actually transformational in the way that you talk about the things that you are dreaming of and the things that you want to achieve in your life. That leads us. To the relationship between dreams and goals. So I've told you the difference, like we've untangled, these are dreams, these are goals. Now we're gonna talk about what the heck do they have to do with each other. So let's explore how dreams and goals connect, because when they're in alignment with each other, that's when things start to really shift. The first thing is dun, dun, dun. Not all goals serve dreams, and that's okay. If you think about goals, there's three different kinds of goals. There's maintenance goals, those goals are filing taxes or cleaning out your inbox or changing your oil. These aren't dreams, right? But they're essential goals that need to achieve to maintain your life. They create the foundation that keeps your life functioning, so your dreams. Have room to grow somewhere in your life. So those are maintenance goals. Then we have these things called obligation goals, helping plan a family reunion or taking a class that's required for work. These reflect love, care, and integrity, even if they're not part of your big vision, so because family is important to you and you want to plan a family reunion, you are going to have a goal of planning a family reunion. It might not be a big dream of yours, and that's okay. The third kind of goal are called Stepping Stone goals. And these, they're not gonna feel inspiring right now, but what they are is they're bridges to something bigger. So think about like if you have a nine to five job and you're only working a nine to five job so that you can fund your passion of creating art, or what about those certifications that you're getting? You know that once you get the certifications, they're gonna open up future career doors for you. But getting the certifications right now, it's not like lighting you up. You're not excited about it, but you're excited about what's next. Those are stepping stone goals. Now here's the other thing. First, I said, not all goals serve dreams. And now I'm gonna tell you that dreams need goals. Not all goals serve dreams, but every dream needs a goal in order to bring it to life. How do we make a dream tangible? Start by asking what would need to happen for this dream to feel real. What actions can I take this month? What habits do I need to start engaging in to help support it? Let me give you an example. I don't know. I feel like everybody wants to write a book. Like it's not just me, but everybody I talk to seems to wanna write a book. So we're gonna go with, if you wanna become a published author, The dream is, is that you want to express yourself creatively and engage in storytelling. Next, you have long-term goals, that you wanna finish a manuscript and you have to find an agent. Then you would have midterm goals where you have to build a portfolio, or maybe you're gonna attend a a writing conference, and then you have short term goals to support that dream, where you're gonna write 500 words a day. Or you're gonna join a writing group, and then you're gonna have the daily habits where you are going to show up and you are going to write and edit and read and reflect. What I just took you through is called the dream hierarchy. So you have a dream. And then you have to set long-term goals, and then you have to set short-term goals, and then you have to establish daily habits to support those goals. Dreams provide the meaning or the why and the goals create the movement, the action. And those daily habits, those build momentum. And when you put all three of those together, then your dream starts to live out in the real world. It's not out there floating around in the clouds. It's no longer dreamy. It is something that you are taking action on. Let's go back to that idea of dreams, feeling too dreamy. What if that's not a problem, but a sign that you're dreaming just right. You see, dreams aren't immediate. Dreams aren't meant to be instantly attainable. They're meant to stretch you, to point your compass towards a life that feels aligned to whatever it is that you want. Think of them as the North Star. Not the destination on your GPS. You never actually get to the North Star. It's a guide, and that's what your dreams are. And like we explored in episode two, your dreams, they still matter even if you never achieve them. The other thing about dreams is they evolve. So as you pursue a dream, you change and your dream changes too. So, for example, what starts as performing on a stage that might evolve into composing music behind the scenes? Maybe you learned you don't wanna perform on a stage, but you love composing music. You would never have learned that about yourself if you didn't start performing on a stage, The other way. Dreams evolve is the core dream. It remains, but it shape, it changes, it transforms. And here's the other thing that you have to really remember is. Dreams, take time. Dreams take time. You don't just wake up one day and go, I'm gonna do this. You think about your dreams, you dream your dreams, and then when you've had enough of the dreaming, you say, this is something that I wanna do. This is who I wanna be. This is where I wanna go. This is how I wanna live my life. Then and only then do you decide. To attach some goals to that dream. Now let's talk about something very interesting and what we're gonna talk about right now is how some of the goals that you are currently working on, the goals that maintain your life, your obligation goals, some of these goals are secretly holding some dreams and you don't even know it. if a goal gives you butterflies or a lump in your throat, it might hold a dream inside. Sometimes goals are more than goals. So a promotion isn't just about a salary. It might be about your dream to be seen and heard. Or learning to cook might be about creating joy and connection. It might not just be about the food or saving money, might be about building the kind of freedom that lets your dreams breathe. It gives you more opportunity. I challenge you to look beneath your goals because sometimes the dream is already in motion. Sometimes you're doing things without even knowing it to make your dreams. Come alive. Now, even practical goals can be part of your deeper why. So paying your bills very, very practical, that could be about creating stability for financial freedom. What about cleaning your physical space? That could be about honoring your creativity, maybe moving your body. That's about you wanting to live a healthy life. When we approach the ordinary with intention, it can really become extraordinary and we can uncover a dream. Let's wrap this up. Dreams are the why. They give our lives meaning and direction. They say who we want to be. Goals are the how they make the dreams doable. And the other thing to really remember is you don't have to connect every goal to a dream, but if you want to live your dream, you'll need goals to make it real. And maybe most importantly, you don't have to wait until your dream feels achievable to start. Start small. Start now. Here is your invitation for this week. Go ahead and name one dream that truly matters to you. Don't filter it out. What is something that really matters to you? Just name it, write it down, Then I invite you to choose one goal that you can take action on in the next 30 days to move yourself closer to that dream. And then I want you to pick one maintenance goal that you already have and ask how does this task, like paying the bills, support the life that I'm building and let that connection, let that fuel you. I would love to know what dream you're choosing to keep dreamy and what dream are you ready to set some goals around? Hit the Send Carle a text link in the show notes and let me know.

Carlene: 20:50

I love spending time with you here. And if today's episode sparked something for you. I'd love to hear about it. Leave a review, share it with a friend or come chat with me on Instagram. And thank you so much for tuning in. And your dreams. Or waiting for you. Your time. Is now. And I can't wait to see you in the next episode. Oh, and one more thing. This is the legal language. You know, the stuff that the lawyers put together, and they say that I need to read this to you. So here we go. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. I'm just your friend. I'm not a licensed therapist. This podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professionals. Got it? Good. I will see you in the next episode.